


I Don't Like Jokes

by SinScrivener



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: M/M, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-18
Updated: 2019-09-18
Packaged: 2020-10-20 22:44:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20683169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SinScrivener/pseuds/SinScrivener
Summary: Aquatans was put out that there wasn't mpreg of sweet Hastur and Ligur, soooo I made it for them :3Male pregnancy for those who dislike it, don't bother reading itLight mature due to a bunch of little things





	I Don't Like Jokes

God had a way with being an ass to Her creations even when they Fell!

I was one of those who fought in the Glorious Revolution against Her, alongside Dagon and our Lord Beelzebub!

We'd been some of the first!

We had failed, and when Armageddon-did not came, everything we'd worked towards, was gone to ashes and the wind which scattered it around the world was life moving along as normal.

What a joke! Her Plan, the War, God Herself!

Crowley and Aziraphale had become traitors to both their sides, working together, a Demon and an Angel.

Traitors who also proved in their arrangement something they had possessed called, 'loooove' and, 'haaaappiness', and 'understaaaanding' helped them make the world not end and actually keep going.

Backing up the AntiChrist, faced off Satan himself, all the while pointing a big middle finger to God and Her Plans in the process!

This was one big'ol joke, one both sides had given everything to see happen, many of us Falling, followed loyally-Lost everything because of-

How was I supposed to be happy and just 'let this happen as if nothing was wrong' when that traitor CROWLEY KILLED MY FRIEND IN COLD BLOOD?!?

Our Lord Beelzebub had even followed their own Plan in the end, the Archangel Gabriel himself Fell for Happiness, came to Hell to be beside our Lord, Beelzebub!

The joke being pulled against me that ran so long all began when that damned 'no longer Archangel Gabriel' used what Holy Self he still possessed and returned Ligur to me…

Such a sick and twisted joke!

Yet, a joke I fell for it right then, as Gabriel told me to keep him still for a week, to remind him of all we'd done together, everything, he and I!

I lay with him this way for a week, as he use to when I got careless before Armageddon-not and discorporated at least seven times.

I stirred every movement he made, sound he made I listened, anything he did I was right there!

This joke was evil incarnate.. Demons did not FEEL… We did not LOVE!!

We HATED… DESPISED!!

We Tempted Humans to do bad things, follow Satan's path!!

Yet.. The moment Ligurs ever bewitching eyes opened and a small weak smile cracked his lips, I FELT!

I screeched as his hand touched my cheek in his kind way with me and I sprinted through Hell SCREAMING how he was back, burning myself by 'Thanking God' for the Fallen Archangel Gabriel!

I shook our Lord Beelzebub, black eyes beaming into their ever still arctic blues, held the Fallen Archangel Gabriel before slipping in my turn around and wobbled quickly back to my hole where we had stayed, Ligur now chuckling in a weaker form of his ever rumbling way as I prance in place at the sight of him still being.

He was the only one who understood me, Fell FOR me after we failed our War against Her many many years ago, he FELL for ME! Ligur, an Angel who did no wrong, had so much to give Her World, Fell for a defective Angel doomed to Fall from the start!

He even named me, Hastur, my Angelic name lost as I Fell, never to be spoken of again, haha, it fit too, Hastur, 'The Unspeakable One, Him Who Is Not to be Named!'

My name was never to be spoken again, I cherished his name for me.

(Note to make, Hastur KNOWS Ligur didn't FALL the first time but Followed after him, but mutilating his wings proved to Hastur he MEANT it and promised he'd not be going back to Heaven, his chosen and been made to BE. WITH. HASTUR, Hastur knows just, leaves it at that- Ligurs death by Holy Water provided him the Fall he wanted from the start when meeting Hastur so there is that now too)

In Hell, he stuck to me like my Toad stuck to my head! Always standing up for things I did or said, agreeing ten fold on any suggestions I made, getting into the faces of others when it seemed I could not for myself.

I never understood why, even when he flat out said he cared for me, liked being with me, liked ME!

These jokes, I reaaaally didn't like these jokes!

How could he enjoy me when She made me so defective from the start? Always jumpy, twitchy, one minute blazing mad the next, smiling like an ol loon?

How could he like me when I didn't even like me?

Turns out, there were Humans like me, defective as I had been made, we'd seen maaany in our long immortal lives lurking and Tempting upon Her Earth.

Strange Humans who acted different around things, around others, some who spoke to themselves, some that randomly went off the handles only to return, smiling, calm.

Ligur figured, since I hated touching, I had something like sensory overload, he took notice that I also got overwhelmed and reacted negatively to sounds and activities, sometimes even like me, Humans bit or hit themselves too!

Even for a Demon in Hell as Her creations on Earth, our actions were stared upon. We were laughed at. We weren't seen as equal to those of our kind.

She had made Her own Human Creations, defective, like me-To be center of attention when Human things happened that those like me could not process, to be mocked for our differences, to be sent away, out of sight of Her perfect world because of our troubles in being!

She was a sick twisted Bitch, She and her conniving jokes about the defectives!

However, no one DARED to mess with ME not when Ligur was there!!

He snapped off hands, fingers, twisted a jaw once when someone below our ranks as Dukes spoke rather loudly how my habit of biting myself when I was stressed amused them!

Humans I hated to admit, were just us but stupider and fleshy and easily molded!

The joke I figured being played upon me kept going so I just rolled with it with an open mind.

There was no way in Heaven nor Hell that I was to be given such a wonderful thing back to myself, someone like me, doomed to fail at creation, someone many behind my back when Ligur was not in hearing distance, mocked me.

I deserved to be harassed, teased, laughed at.. It was all I was good for-

Even as a Duke of Hell beside Lord Beelzebub..Along side Dagon and Ligur, I was stared at and mocked cruelly.

It just made it less hurtful when Ligur said their words were rubbish, how I was a million times better than God Herself even, how no one could be as good at lurking nor Tempting as me, and how no one could be me better then me myself~

So, as the week of his staying still and my constant telling him of our lurking and time spent Tempting alongside each other became months, his once Demonic self returning slowly but surely, the joke I waited to be told about or find out in some sick twisted way still did not become.

He wasn't one hundred percent by the time he moved amongst Hell. But he held himself proudly, the colors his bewitching eyes made told everyone off who neared him, who neared me.

His arm held mine, his touch the only touch I'd willingly allow and let me lead us around.

Unlike before, when I walked anywhere without a second thought, I moved now with cared for caution, every step was careful, everything around me, noted!

In the million years of slow motion it took for me watching Ligur melt by Holy Water before my eyes, I now took his words of 'be more cautious' to heart.

Or whatever we Demons possessed instead of hearts-

This long becoming joke wasn't going to see me alone watching Ligur die this time.. No.. No it would not! I'd be cautious and keep him safe!

So, after leading him towards a place with food, we two alone allowed Above by Lord Beelzebub themselves to try and recharge from our own personal Hells, I lead him to OUR Park, the one with the mudfish and crawlers that lived in OUR pond, and settled us down under the willows, shady, quite, alone.

Unlike Angels, we Demons enjoyed our breaks by drinking, eating, sleeping, those sods were so boring! Ya had mouths, eyes, bodies, use them!

As I spoke, he snapped up the greasy human food with gusto and licked his lips, every few moments he'd turn his head and listened to me speak about this and that, attention on me alone.

Soon, I fell silent and he laid down on his side in the cool grass, bewitching eyes upon me and around OUR Park and OUR pond.

Crickets chirped in the trees and grasses, frogs sang on the pads of green in the pond, Ligur watched a dragonfly skip along the water, just below, a fish ready to eat it.

I took seconds on this damn spinning ball of Her Creation before, but not here, not when it was JUST me and Ligur and nothing more to do in our work Below.

No buildings, no stupid fleshy humans, none of that weird bullshit Croooowley talked about during his times in Hell or our meetings, nothing about lurking not even Tempting, just THIS, THIS was ours and it was WE two who shared it together.

Wind rustled the leaves around us, it smelled of rain to come tonight, I lay down next, but find I've been silently sobbing. My mind stuck to quiet and still and allowed to think.

Biggest joke on me was thinking, thinking I could be happy, happy with this we shared right now! Feeling the body curl around me, the hands keeping mine from my mouth as I wailed in terror and pain. Hear the rumbling voice of Ligur who last I recalled was screaming as he died.

I'd awaken, still to Armageddon-not becoming, in the hole I'd found to fade with his clothes around me.

I'd watch him slowly die, watch Crowley survive the bath of Holy Water, go FREE for what he'd done to us in Hell, to Ligur!

The sound of rain awakens me two hours after I passed out. Ligur was upon me, holding me still, voice gentle, his eyes so bewitching, shone softly down upon me as he noticed I was back around.

I'd been lost to this episode all the rest of the day.. Our first real day back together, and I ruined it, as I always wound up doing-

"Ponds filling up, and it's only turned sundown?" Ligur speaks to me where I lay below him and nod in reply, unable to speak, if I did, I'm sure I'd lose myself again and followed him into OUR pond.

Filled up left the pond deeper, wider, we could bathe our whole bodies together and not shift half of them to make room to be beside each other.

I felt his side brushing mine, mine, brushing his. His arm held mine below the surface, my fingers locked around his to keep us together.

I finally relented and allowed myself to feel him and buried my face under his chin and into his chest. He hugged me this way, silent, but there.

No longer a pile of clothes, no screaming escaped his lips, just his soothing rumble of a voice and smiles cracking his lips open.

His being took hold of anywhere he went once more, he wasn't dead.. He wasn't.. I felt him..

Demons don't FELL..

This.. This joke needed to stop…

I was a Demon..

But I FELT…

He wasn't here… No!! No, he died by Holy Water before my eyes!! She was a bastard, an unforgiving bastard..

I deserved no happiness, I deserved to be harassed..

I HATED JOKES!!!

\---

I never remember our times after my meltdowns.

He'd tell me, he'd tell me the truth of how he held me, kissed me, told me things were okay, going to be okay.

He told me those strange words Humans spoke to those they cared for, he told me he looooved me!

He'd explain to me we'd lain together, arms around one another, voices lost, bodies warm and together.

I always calmed down after these times together. I'd grow easier to talk to, understood better, even laughed again and even joked around myself!

And I believed him. His words weren't lies~

When I wake after a meltdown of that power, I'd wake feeling renewed, happier, clearer in the head, giddy about things I liked once more and uncaring what was spoken before me, I woke, to Ligur beside me, smiling his warmest smile towards me as we held~

For some strange reason, Ligur had Fallen for a defect like me, an Angel Ligur, who had once been of such promise and joy to Her and Her Plans-Had Fallen for me?

He seemed so willing to listen, to understand, to be there for me, stand up for me-

After my meltdowns and until another took its place at random, those few hours after waking to Ligur and I together in such a way, smiling at each other, laughing, even kissing him back when he didn't expect it, I believed in his looove for me because I actually believed in my own love for him!

In those few wonderful hours, jokes weren't all that bad either~

\---

My brooding self returned, true to form, but true to his promise from before the start of Earth itself, Ligur stuck by my side, stood up for me, made me feel like any stupid thing I had in mind I thought was a 'good idea' or what have you, he'd support me a billion and one percent.

However, before, when I fell to these meltdowns, and we lay together, naked, alone, just us and our 'souls' and 'love', I wouldn't feel something afterwards!

Well, not like I was NOW!

THOSE feelings I held onto for the dearest damn life I did not possess, kept them safe, used them when he was away for periods of time!

Thiiiiis wasn't one of thooose-

He wouldn't pull a joke on me, he was beyond even HER in his truth speaking!

That's how it came to me that maybe this wasn't a joke at all…

Nor was it a joke that the not Archangel Gabriel brought him back, nor was it a sick joke that Armageddon didn't Armageddon!

Things had indeed changed and now, as much as I disliked it, change it was time I followed it, I wasn't alone, never would be- Ligur was beside me, I was beside him!

His being there gave me strength to try and tell him what was on my mind. The weird feeling left over from our first day back together what felt like forever ago now!

He was slow and easy with me, got me to get it out a piece at a time, he understood me, and I was forever grateful!

\---

With things still trying to get back to normal, things on Earth progressing, past Temptings went through but now, a hiatus, even from the Angels.

With two defiant immortal forms from both sides proving we were all after the same thing and our work on Earth kept it turning even without the world ending, our Tempting and their Miracles ceased for a bit.

Which is how I began to FEEL it and how I got around to telling Ligur about it.

We lay in his office, mine trashed after he died and I had never gotten back to fixing it up since he'd come back. Side by side, heads touching, breathing slow, calm.

I jerked at the weird FEELING that came to me once more and now Ligur saw first hand what was getting me so wired up again.

"What was that, an inner twitch?" He asked in that soft rumble of a voice he held possession over. So he felt it, that weird spasm! I wasn't losing it that badly then!

"Oi its been happ'n since well, after we.. We laid together our first day back together.." I say in a small voice, looking at my thin, lanky form compared to his beautifully built one.

I feel him nuzzle me and heard him hum softly, "Maybe we literally made love inside you?"

I stare at him, blank faced and he snorts, "I don't know the human word… Umm.. Butterflies inside you?"

"Oi, I'm not Lord Beelzebub! They have such powers, I think!" I retort and shake myself inwardly then sigh.

"What is the bloody word, we made someth'n I know that, not butterflies, if not that then, what?"

"Ants.. No, those bastards hang out in pants.." I offer and he shrugs before holding me closer, nose upon the left side of my face, warts and all.

"Well, whatever it is, does it hurt?" I shook my head no. "Maybe its okay then~ We're together again, things have come and gone, now we can feel it for once, I'm sure if you laid with me, I'D feel someth'n too~"

I hummed at the thought and rested in his nuzzle, his scent everywhere around me.

He smelt of ashes and death~

He told me many times I smelt of standing pond water and sulfur~

He sniffed me again, face still upon mine and mused, "Maybe I'll smell different too!"

"Oi? I smell different even?" And he waved his hand around vaguely, "Kinda… Damn words…" He racked his brains and offered, "You know them sickos who cut into people?" I give him a look of, nooooo, and he beams, "Tasty, like those who have small humans inside them! You smell kinda like that too!"

We'd Tempted and Lurked for YEARS, many sickos cut open people, some were bad enough to cut up female humans who held human beings inside THEM!

Ligur and I never understood how it was the female human alone with the weird small goopy human inside them, but the smell of life still there we did understand, and that of it dying outside its mother like that. This melon sized human, dying without its female human, being inside it however-Just made no sense!

"Ehh, ya, I hope maybe it's butterflies then!" I say before curling around him, he around me and closed my eyes.

I'm out quickly but get a 'show' in my dreams of a Demon I think, one who looked like me, doing his Lurking and Tempting best! Out came one like Ligur! He too, Lurked and Tempting his best!

Then… The Demon looking Hastur and Ligur held and kissed, then pulling away, there was a small THEM between them, smiling at them, our Demon look alikes looking down at it, beaming proudly and soon, start back along, teaching IT to Lurk and Tempt ITS BEST!

I awaken with a pant, shaking and with Ligur awake I bleat like sheep before they get slaughtered in the factory, "I HAVE A LITTLE US INSIDE ME!!"

\---

Above once more, Earth cooling off here in London, I curled as small as I could into Ligur, our graveyard safe hole where we now stayed.

A well forgotten graveyard, Lurking and Tempting abound for me and Ligur, it was covered in growth, off many maps nowadays, bodies were littered everywhere and not even in graves!

Our hole was in an old mausoleum, it was cold and wet save a small spot where a broken into casket had once been put to rest.

A nest of a bunch of things we'd found scattered the hole in the wall. Demons need no comfort nor sleep but after a few hard times at work, or away from each other ate us away, we hid here, a cozy nest for a Toad and Chameleon like us, away from the elements, eyes, just us!

Ligur left during the night and snagged something for us to destroy, the poor unsuspecting animal didn't see it coming.

For once, I snapped its neck, hearing it cry made me sick and quickly killed it. Ligur looked upset but did not speak out, ever bewitching eyes upon me, studying me even more so when I turned away and hid deeper into our hole.

He crawled up in next, the body put safely in a crevice close to reach from the safety of our hole and hugged me from the back, voice soft, chin resting upon my shoulder, "Heeeeeey~"

I shiver. This wasn't happening!

We KILLED!!!

WE WERE DEMONS!!!

"Hast, Haaast," His voice fades slowly, I fell under, this wasn't HAPPENING!

It would look like ME as well as him! I had seen it myself… I didn't know how it would act…

No, no, no, no, no, IT WOULD BE LIKE ME!! It would be harassed, teased, looked at!!!!

Nooo, no, no!! No, noooo! It was ME who deserved it, not Ligur and definitely NOT something made between us!

It was small, innocent… Its parents were Demons! We KILLED-

I feel myself get pushed downwards, see before I lose myself, Ligurs sweet orange eyes, his smile calm, voice, loving as it got when it was just us, loving, a word I now understood, "I've got you, Hast, breeeathe, I got you~"

And so, I did, I breathed then let him take control, and let go of my own-

\---

The graveyard was said to be a place where the dead are put to rest.

No one spoke about Demons, nor about a waking understanding of love they'd felt for so long for one another and now understood and shared in the falling cold night inside a mausoleum, inside a nest like home they'd made out of someone's cold resting place inside the mausoleum in an old forgotten graveyard.

Voices soft, for Demons anyway, bodies close, locked, complete, their minds thrown aside to allow their new understanding of love take hold.

Ligur, overtop Hastur bit the others neck, Hastur himself groaning as they weaved together inside the cold and damp mausoleum, naked, bodies on fire, a fire hotter than Satan's Hellfire!

Ligurs large hands took trips from the others chest, along the showing ribcage, pulled at his back as they pushed each other, bodies now upright, Hasturs own hands clawed for hold as he 'sank' below his passion along Ligurs back, grabbing his hips in the end and held him there, feeling his partner deep inside him, the thrusts sending shocks through his being.

They say Demons were once Angels-They weren't wrong-And tonight, it showed what they'd once been, as Hastur lifted his neck in submission and cried as Ligur lavished it, sucking at two deep bites before ending at his lips, Hasturs hands holding them together this way, back upon the wall of the mausoleum, Ligur pushing into his partner harder, breaths between them ragged, hot, the smell they shared was sex and love.

Carefully, feeling himself getting ready, with a whine from Hastur to finish what they'd started, he was laid upon his back and kissed before feeling all of his partner inside him and then saw the stars he'd not seen in an age.

The stars that only came when partners shared themselves this way.

Ligur pulled Hastur into them this time as the skinny Demon below him cried his name before coming next, lost once more but easily found then before.

As their high ended, so did Hasturs meltdown and his return to himself.

There, above him, as he always was when he came back, Hastur let tears fall as his partner brushed strands of dirty blonde hair aside and kissed his face. Ligur, above him, with him, still connected, held him close as Hastur cried into his neck, his rumbling voice coaching him back, telling him how it was going to be okay, how much he loved him, how amazing he was, not to hide, that if it was wrong, so be it, let them see, how what they'd done was proof change wasn't all bad, how, if what Hastur found to be true WAS a smaller them inside him, he whispered softly into his ear, how they'd be together, just them, as it had been, and how much he loved him and this strange thing they'd made.

As birds began to awaken outside their safe hole within the forgotten graveyard, Ligur nestled Hastur in close and brought up a blanket they'd found and wrapped them together within it. Bodies no longer connected in that sense, they breathed in each others scent, kissed, whispered, then, as morning light peaked into the cracks of the structure they called home away from home, Ligur welcomed Hasturs sleeping head under his chin, his arms closing in around them as sleep took him but a few moments there after.

\---

Demons weren't Angels, nor were we Humans, so this weird small HasturLigur thing within me had nothing on how it would grow, how it would come, nothing.

It was just me and Ligur and IT-

And for a time, it seemed really, just me and Ligur! I FELT it, IT was there but… Not as we'd thought it would be before.

That too changed, in Her sick game of Life-We don't track time well, Ligur for a long time wasn't sure what time period we were in when we brought Crowley the AntiChrist, there is no point in doing so in Hell!

No sun, moon, stars, seasons.

So, came and went the freezing weather, then normal cold wet London weather. The sun poked out during spells, the rest, overcast and foggy with mist. Perfect for Lurking!

But for now, Lurking was the last thing on our minds! As unnoticeable as this THING was outside, me and Ligur did not return to Hell for long stretches at a time due in part to believing everyone else could feel IT too!

We did work, sent paperwork down to Dagon, but stayed Above, as did the traitors-Maybe they'd just talk about that and not reasons why…

Ligur and I sat beneath an old Churches roof, struck many many years ago by lightning, and by us allowed to take shelter below it, it was of Demonic intent, and that's how it became more so apparent, something wasn't right with me and our chose to stay Above was right.

The rain just poured and if I wasn't in such a shitty mood, I'd have enjoyed it. But no, I felt sick and cold, and just wanted sleep.

Ligur let me rest more since being Above, leaving for quick Temptations himself and coming back sometimes with human food, other times, dead things.

Today, I wanted to stretch and get out of our Hole. Proved stupid, it WAS nice out-

"Hey'a, your all warm here~" Ligur spoke as I lay tucked into his arms, miserable feeling.

My head tipped up and I blinked my dark as pitch eyes at him. He showed me what he meant, taking one of my hands out of my tucked up ball and held it by my stomach.

It WAS!

"Its kinda cute too, feel it? Soft and roundish!" He kept saying, making me feel a bit better by his words.

Like Heaven or Hell I'd lift up out of a my curled up ball of warmth to check right now if I could see this round softness, but with his hand and mine touching my middle, I began to feel… Good, I felt… Warm inside… I felt… Protective!

It was mine and Ligurs, ours alone, no one else's to see or touch! No one could feel what we felt now, just US!

I chose then and there that I myself, was done in Hell, for now at the very least. Ligur willingly took charge and went Below in my stead, I myself now left safe in our Hole in the forgotten graveyard, left waiting and in panics until he came back.

Another one of HER twisted jokes I guess, I chose to stay safe Above, afraid of Below and what they could feel or see, but chose to stay alone as Ligur went instead, into anything and everything by himself!

They weren't long times of us apart either but just enough for me to root up everything and lose it completely.

'Once a month', I believe is the Human word used for the passage of time, Ligur would return at night from leaving me and our Hole cozy and warm in the premorning newness, to a mess of chaos and despair.

'Once a month', also counted for quick Temptations he'd do if he felt the world outside wasn't right or I asked to stay behind, always feeling so strange, rapid hunger to anger, to happy feelings everywhere, to knocking out halfway through mine and Ligurs talks about everything and nothing!

He told me when I'd awaken upset for doing such to him that it was adorable to watch and assured me he never minded when he found me sleeping in his arms.

The THING too, during these, 'Once a months' began to change! From a small warm roundness, I began to get heavier in the middle, my chest growing and leaking even.

It wasn't, to ME anyway, the 'cute' roundness I once sported, but to Ligur, he'd discorporate if I didn't know any better when I let him pull away my jacket and shirt to stare at our unborn...Thiiing still inside me.

He kissed it, touched it, spoke to it. He'd lavish me with more love then I could handle at times and thus became the next 'joke' of our creator. How a pair should be oooh so happy with a THING growing inside them that with said 'love' that got it there to start with, resulted in the Holder snapping out as the Giver tried fucking them like a rabbit because the Giver was so turned on by his partner and their THING having grown so much bigger and warmer that he lost himself and tried front and back humping or kissing and touching you till it rubbed you raw.

Another 'joke' was feeding.

She was just full of JOKES! I don't like jokes!

The feeding I did too now gave me more on my bones, I was no longer just a long skinny Demon but a long, pretty damn round in the middle with small extras upon the rest of me Demon.

We'd fed on things before, primal urges inside took us over after a pretty good Temptation was done and killed and ate something to satisfy our inner cravings.

Now, Ligur had that too from 'Once a month', visits to Hell and quick Temptations outside our Hole. He hunted for things, after a while, mice and rabbits and birds didn't even come close to relieving this strange need to eat within me. So, longer it took if I chose not to follow or he felt I shouldn't that he was away from me and every time he'd return, he'd find our Hole in a mess.

She was a bastard! Even to two confused Demons with a THING made between them.

\---

'Once a month', brought not just my belly growth nor hunger, but it MOVING!

It wasn't the strange spasms inside me that told me something was different, no, thiiiis, this was just, wrong!

A surprisingly hot afternoon caught Ligur and I outside. A Temptation having been made in two Nuns to follow the Priest into his dark secrets.

We lay in OUR park near OUR pond, the one with the mudfish and crawlers! We chose there to relax, again, because I felt heavy and tired even Tempting now. Ligur poked at the mudfish in our pond, I myself, along his side, breathing in the heat of the air, my mind on nothing and everything that when it happened, I nearly discorporated!

Ligur nearly jumped out of his own form when I screeched and tore myself upright, looking at my middle with the purest face of Holy Hell a Demon could give.

"Holy-Naah, What in the Hell was that about?" Ligur asked as I poke at my belly. He watches and waits with me.

"I've felt it before, not like BEFORE but… Like it was swimming, I thought before maybe it...might have been? Like a fishy, you know?" I try and he nods, resting his chin upon my heavy side.

Up and down his head went as I breathed. Waiting together. It felt like aaaaagggggeeees when it pushed again.

Ligurs eyes lit electric blue with shocked surprise, head lifted off my belly as I groaned, lowering myself motionless along my side in the grass.

"Great, here it comes, its ganna kill me to get out or someth'n, Ligur, love it though, alright?" I ask as Ligur sniffs it and licks along my belly, tickling it, making me shudder and caused the movement to happen again, his face splitting with joy at his achievement.

"If it's angry enough to kill me to come into THIS world, Hell have mercy on all who sees it, they'll surely parish!" I keep going until, "Its moving, Hast!"

I lift my head upwards, dark as pitch eyes staring him down as I say flat out, "Nooooo you think ya twat?"

He chuckles and kissed my nose before explaining, "I meeean, he's in there, swimming around, now he's feeling everything out!"

I stare at him and he purrs sweetly, eyes now sweet orange, face nuzzling mine deeply, "He feels YOU, Hast! He feels YOU, the one holding him safe, lov'n him up right, feeding him!"

I look with him at my belly, it shifts some and I groan before laying back down upon my side, arms outstretched, legs resting upon his lap.

"How does he come out then?" I ponder as he noses my belly after I lay back down upon the grass. "Oi?" His face appears before mine and then a THUMP as he falls to his side beside me upon the grass and says, "Maybe like a lizard and frog? Ya poop it out? Push it out, whatever sounds better!?"

My eyes bug and he backs himself away some.

"This THING is BIGGER than a lizard and frog, Lig!! And you think it's just ganna come outta me like WHAT!?"

He chuckles nervously and speaks out quickly, "A Temptation I did Hast… Was at a Hospital for Humans… Haha… I saw a human female with a belly like yours, mind, it wasn't as hot and sexy as yours-" I smack his head and growl.

"Anyway, I saw her push out the baby-I lost the Temptation but saw how it happens.."

"I am a Demon-"

"And yet a human could do it, are you saying, you, Duke of Hell Hastur, under Lord Beelzebub themselves can't PUSH something out of themselves?" He presses and I stop.

It pushes inside me again and I roll slowly to my back, hands running along the rounded hill it now made, the shirt now resting along my equally growing chest and think.

"I guess I can do that.."

"Unlike her, you won't be alone~" Ligur breaths into my ear before kissing it and I sigh.

I let him hold me how I lay and think slowly, feeling it more than before, having taken more notice gave it all it needed to start going nuts.

If humans could do this.. So could I… But how did this happen? Demons had no true gender, Ligur and I chose male forms when Above..

We laid together like Humans did, their act of love, connection, we shared it pretty often for Demons anyway.

Why did this happen now?

Why suddenly, did I want nothing more then to love it myself and pray as painful as that was for me, to have it not kill me whilst it tried to get out so I could share with Ligur in watching it grow up outside of my body and not just within.

\---

(Note, with Hastur being a Demon, pregnancy isn't in human terms. Winter and Summer Solstice happen in December and June, their child is born if you ask either parent, one or the other-For human pregnancy when they found out, it was about November, leading to six months at least. Their child isn't Human thus pregnancy isn't human like, three months to make nine mean nothing none of the premie issues with being born early)

(Note two-The surprisingly hot afternoon that caught them was in April-Two months left)

\---

We stayed quiet now. No Lurking nor Tempting.

Hell heard very little from us, Above did not see us around either. We didn't venture far from the graveyard now.

I was getting tired each day and yet, so restless.

I wanted to sleep, but also move everything, a sudden NEED to make things cleaner, get things ready!

I got rid of all the bedding we'd found in our time before our long stay in the mausoleum, buried it away far outside the graveyard and with Ligurs help, gathered newish, stuff from bins and road sides.

No matter where I put things, Ligur may leave me a moment and come back to me nesting it elsewhere.

Demons aren't Humans… I had the foggiest idea as did Ligur, so-We just rolled along with it together. Ligur let me keep rearranging our Hole in the mausoleum, he let me sleep or eat at my own leisure, and backed off when I snapped at him for getting frisky.

It felt all correct… But what was even correct?

Should I let him have me? Was that a thing that needed doing to help this start? Why mess up the bedding I'd worked hard to push around for what felt like years? Sleeping rewarded me with more tiredness and eating got slower and soon, barely a few bites before I turned away.

Why did She DO this to anything She made? What kinda sick joke was this? I FELT it was right, everything was going okay, yet-DOUBT!!

I just lay there in the mausoleum entrance, laying there, breathing as Ligur left to his 'Once a month' Hell visit. We'd been found by Dagon themself when he went out to knab something to eat, try to eat.

Dagon was baffled at seeing him in such a state, he and I have no idea what they meant but still. They asked him many different things from what happened to us to where did our work go if we've been up here this long?

Even asked where it was I was and yet he only said we were fine, things were okay, just getting things straightened out before coming Home was all.

Dagon had returned with a firm reprimand that if neither of us showed soon, we'd be found the hard way and that's where Ligur was. In Hell, explaining to our Lord Beelzebub about it all and then some.

He left me with promises of it would be okay, he'd be back, he loved me, to try to sleep whilst he was away. I had watched him leave into the Earth outside of the graveyard, jump upon the hill, to keep our place safe from others Below and that's where I lay when I began feeling AGAIN!

I tried ignoring it, if I worried about it, Ligur wouldn't be here to stop me from going under.

So, I counted the headstones. Twenty-four, not counting none buried bodies lay in this unkempt yard.

It didn't work and even grew to a subtle pain along my back.

Sooo I stretched and growled, "I'm not with your… Ligur isn't here mini Demon, calm down, I start to go under, we're both fucked!"

That didn't stop it, the stretching, made it worse since right after, I felt a ripple along my stomach, a new feeling and one I HATED!

I tried harder to keep my mind off worrying.

He'd be back. The sun was just climbing over the dark mangy trees, he wouldn't be too soon but he would be soon enough.

"Oiii, stop'it would'ja?" I groan as it moves in a weird way along my side till I rose up shakingly and tried to get comfy for it to stop.

I suddenly felt very funny. Something wet gathered between my legs and spilt where I sat.

I looked down

I HATED JOKES!!!

What was this all then?

I now leaked between my legs? What did that mean?

Ligur and I licked at the leaking of my chest, it tasted like SOMETHING, nothing bad-

I groan again and push into the doorframe of the building for the dead. My eyes shut tightly and wish to get up and just walk away from all this.

No, no, I wanted Ligur right then and gave a low cry out, a pitiful sound then hissed, head pressed into the stone upon my back.

I can barely take off my own pants now with my given size and now with the pain, I hissed as I pulled best I could till the fabric rested around my ankles.

Ligur did the demonic miracles now, I doubt I could concentrate enough to get myself into the Hole now as I force myself to roll to my hands and knees.

I didn't feel safe now, exposed outside. If Ligur had been there, maybe I'd be okay, but alone..

A heavy ripple sends me forward and gasping as I let my body and its new instincts take over.

Like unending nesting and sleeping, I let my instincts take control, Demons knew none of this, so whatever power I felt I had when letting instincts take over was good enough for me.

So, I pushed.. I hated every millisecond of it..

I took in a deep breath and began shuffling slowly towards our Hole, now one below the first.

Growing in belly size made climbing upright well and beyond impossible and after biting Ligur five times for trying me help me up into our first nest, he forced the resident below our first nest out, stone they lay within and all.

We slept below now but now as I try reaching it to get safe in my little Hole, I screeched instead and felt a powerful pain edging itself along my stomach and back.

I felt my body bristle, my fingernails digging into the stone beneath them, my teeth grit together so hard I felt dizzy when it was over and I breathed.

I rest upon my elbows and pant heavily now, body shaking, my insides churning.

Crowley had used something before… Hadn't he? To speak to his Aaaaangel? Keep his caaar from burning up with us inside it?

For once, I begged for it to be true and tried finding Ligur in Hell, pleaded if anything that he felt I needed him before another wave crashes through me and I can't help but scream.

\---

"All I'm saying, Lord Beelzebub is-" I stop mid sentence, Dagon and our Lord sit there, staring as I go rigid.

"Duke Ligur, what-" My Lord starts only for me to make a mad dash out of their office and through a crowd of useless Demons back towards the entrance I used to enter Hell, the safe distance from the graveyard to our Hole.

I literally claw my way out the rest of the way up and without the hole to Below closing, I tore into the forgotten resting place of the humans and leap into the mausoleum, frantically searching for Hastur.

He isn't to far inside the building when I find him. He's panting, sweaty, but now with relief in his tear streaked black as pitch eyes.

"Li.." I nuzzle into him and ask, feeling everything now with my being with him, "Hast, I'm here, easy, you okay?"

He tries to reply but ends up crying out as I with him now, feel a heavy shudder rush through him.

"I...i.. its be...en l..like t.." He cries again, head tilted down towards his chin, my arms holding him up some as he pushed through it.

Something was indeed there, I checked as he got into the Hole we slept in now, his legs spread apart, belly tight, body shaking, back pressed to soft things along the wall.

It was blondish, like Hasturs head, a dab of black at one end and looked like the other. It was its head!

This was a good thing… I begged it to be so, I felt it was anyway…

His scream of pain through me off and I back off as he arches through this coming push.

I had no idea what to do, how to help, where to be-

I watched as Hastur fought alone, something I promised him he'd never have to do! Fought to bring something just as different as our feelings of love for each other.

I hear him begging me from inside the Hole and crawl in carefully, getting beside him as he panted, "I.. N..eed y..ou!"

I press myself into him and nod, breathing into his ear before another shiver takes him away, "I'm here, your doing great, keep going!"

And he does.

Loudly and with curses and with hate!

Each time I check between his legs, more of its heads come out.

Soon, soon I get between them and say deeply, hands ready, for the very first time praying to God to let them be okay, "Give me another push, Hast, come on, nice big push!" And he does.

One heavy push, a short inhale and exhale, then another push, his hands balled into the bedding he birthed upon.

I hold the mini us carefully where it has come out from inside him and praise, his tired black as pitch eyes upon me, begging for it to be done, "Your doing an amazing job, Hast, no ones done something so amazing!"

It has a head, little eyes, nose, mouth, ears, goopy hair, and now hands and belly, and finally after a tired cry out, Hastur moves backwards some and the legs follow me as I gently pulled in my way backwards.

A long rope of sorts hangs still inside Hastur who lay panting, tired, but smiling where I could see him and purred, a rumbling sound with deep emotion inside me, "Haaast, Hast lookit this!"

His sweaty tired head looks down my way and I walk on my knees towards him, our little Demon squealing, pink, angry in my arms.

"All t..this f...or you?" Hastur asks with a baffled laugh and licks his head gently clean of the goopiness it had on it when it had been born.

"Such..a.. Such a tiny l..little maggot~ Look'at you!" He whispers as he noses the little creature gently, sniffing it, seeing it, the creature seeing him back, tiny hand touching his Life Giver upon the face before sneezing and making a strange little noise.

The rope thing, still attached grabbed my attention and watch for his body to shudder and indeed, it did, nothing like earlier, but enough for me to pull it out and found…

"He made his own nest in you!" I tell Hastur, beyond proud of our little Maggot.

Hastur can't contain himself and whimpers, kissing our little creature happily, "You're so smaaart!! Your brilliant!! You'll be admired by everyone! They'll know you for how smart you are, how amazing, already so lively, so sufficient!"

He'd taken care of himself inside Hastur this whole time- "He only could do this with your help, Hast~" I whisper as Hastur finishes his grooming of our little Maggot, head to toes.

I grab off my scarf and push over his jacket so they could lie inside something clean again and swiftly drug out the soiled bedding, smelling of blood, sweat, and birth.

It's only as I turn back around towards the graveyard that I feel cold inside.

Standing there, the whole time, was Lord Beelzebub themselves!

If I had a tail, it would be rammed up my ass as I skirted past them back towards the mausoleum where I knew Hastur lie waiting for me.

My head low, body position just as low, I felt their icy eyes upon me but did not stop and walked ever downward to show their power over me back inside the Hole.

I had a feeling I didn't have long alone to talk with Hastur but seems, he knew something was going on for as soon as I got to him, he nuzzled under my chin and whispered, "We got to see this happen-I love you!"

Then, came the cold silent sound of our Lord walking into the mausoleum after us-

\---

I had Gabriel remain with Dagon to keep the rest of Hell stay put whilst I was gone Above.

I had the strangest feeling something STUPID was bound to be tried sooner then later after Crowley and Aziraphale had taken sides together.

Bloody Gabriel himself Fell for Hell's sake!

Now, before my eyes, I watch my Dukes, Ligur before Hastur, puffed up, ready to keep the two behind him safe from me, as Hastur behind him cared for a small bundle in his pale arms.

"I..I don't wanna hurt you, Lord Beelzebub...But.. He IS mine as is that creature in his arms.. I will NOT back down if it gives them a chance at getting away!"

"Noble and all good, however you forget yourselvezzz," I start and now find myself beside Hastur and their bundle, Ligur distraught as he found this to have happened.

I quiet him with a wave and instead once it was quiet again, I watched the bundle in Hasturs arms squirm and grumble.

Its eyes seemed like Hasturs.. Those could change, humans did and Demons and Angels were the better species of them so I saw this as a could happen and wondered what they'd be, one like Hastur or all the colors like Ligur?

Without missing a beat, Hastur bravely ignored my presence and nosed the creature into his chest and not a second later, a content sucking noise came to all our ears, the creature was feeding what its Birth Giver had made for it with his body.

"Born of two fine Dukezz of Hell," I buzz softly, startling the two flat, their little bundle sucking away on Hasturs chest like nothing else mattered.

"I expect him to be jussssst as fine when he'ssss old enough to come Below!"

"We can keep him, Lord?" Ligur asks tightly and I shrug, "Can you?"

Ligur moves himself carefully over towards Hastur, ignoring my comment and cried deeply within his side, holding the two close as they gazed at their Maggot being in Hasturs arms, "Hast! Oh, oh Hast!!"

I blink indifferently but say with a calm tone, "Congratulationsss on a beautiful spawn of Hell, Duke Hazzztur and Duke Ligur, I'm very proud!"

Their eyes stare into mine but mine give not a single hint of emotion, any they sought for and instead, I rose up and calmly walked out of their….. Nest.. And back outside the stone building.

Inside I heard voices crying and happy and for the briefest moment, I smiled a rare true smile before clearing that up and going towards the hole Ligur left open and returned Home to report what's just occurred and how some things were about to change in Heaven and Hell because of this.

\---

I didn't like jokes…

They were made to make fun…

No-I shook my head slightly, getting that dark thought from my mind as quickly as I could as Ligur touched noses together with his son.

I watch it all with burning pride and love, Ligurs eyes catching mine and we kiss before gazing at what lay now slowly going to sleep within my arms together.

"I think we name him-" Ligur comments and it makes sense. WE made him-God made US and named US-

"Ca..n I tell you one I.. I had, Hast?" I'm asked and look towards Ligur whose eyes are a gentle pinkish. I nose him and purr, waiting.

"I..I like Jasper, i… It means Treasure-"

"You always have such fitting names for things, Lig~" I breathe into him and he chuckles before kissing my head, arm wrapping around me, holding me close.

"You like it?" He asks and in answer I ask, "Jasper?" To the child and get his eyes opened upwards at us, a faded tint of color misting in what were the dark pitch of my own telling me, he'd have his Fathers amazing bewitching eyes~

"Our little Jasper then~" I praise, licking his fluffy downy head before curling myself up around his tiny form.

"I love you, Hast~" I hear and return as Jasper yawns in my arms, "And I love you, Lig~" Then, together, we watch what we made together, feeling what it must have been like for God and Her very first creation.


End file.
